de.tech.ting

What's with all the Super Bowl ads featuring guys without pants?

Posted by andreaitis on February 7, 2010

American Idol kicked it off with the Pants on the Ground anthem, and now that trend is carrying through to the Super Bowl.   In one commercial break there were two ads — count ’em, TWO —  with a ‘no pants’ theme.   The kicker?  The pants-less were not busty bikini’d blondes, but guys.  Regular, average, everywhere you look guys.

According to industry analysts  CBS gets between $2.5 to $3 million for each 30-second commercial.  Overall, more than $200 million will be spent on Super Bowl ads, including pre-game and post-game.  All this geared toward an anticipated audience of about 100 million people tuning in to see the Indianapolis Colts and the New Orleans Saints do the Super Bowl shuffle.

So who decides the no-pants thing is the way to go?   You gotta admit, it’s quite a coincidence to see two ads butting up against one another,  both with a ‘less is more’ play.

First it was CareerBuilder.com with Casual Friday:

[youtubevid id=”d1FxwagDP8A”]

That was followed by Dockers with I Wear No Pants:

[youtubevid id=”kiS-2sTFdZ0″]

Add to that one of the funniest ads that didn’t make it to the Super Bowl, from Bud Light:

[youtubevid id=”UXrnV_PoJMU”]

If that’s not enough, allow me to present one final entry in this ass-tastic series of events.  Earlier this week, the funniest new show (sayeth me) Modern Family had an episode titled Moon Landing.  Mm-hmm.   Let the quarter-back, half-back, interception and touchdown jokes begin.

[huluvid id=”ltzHNTr6rULl7yHmNUn4Tw”]

PS: I can’t remember what network it’s on but you can watch Modern Family — and all the Super Bowl ads — on Hulu.   Score.

Posted in Entertainment, sports | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments »

From fawn to yawn: How social media is killing the awards show

Posted by andreaitis on February 2, 2010

Oscar nominations were announced this morning, and they were as boring as Anne Hathaway’s beige pantsuit.

Announcing 2010 Oscar Nominations.  Y-a-a-a-w-n.

Announcing 2010 Oscar Nominations. Y-a-a-a-w-n.

Sure, the people  who win awards care about them. And the people who are nominated care about them until they don’t win and then they rationalize the superciliousness of awarding one another trinkets for perceived validation.

Aside from the winners and the wanna-be-winners, does anyone one else care anymore?  After nodding off during the Golden Globes and then the Grammys, I’m thinking not so much.  To be fair, most of the Grammy performances were worth watching.  It was the awards part that felt like filler.  T/S’er Leor Galil noticed as well in  Another ‘Grammys are irrelevant’ post.

So, what gives?

Two words:  Social. Media.

That’s right, social media is killing the awards show.    We used to watch awards shows because they were the only chance we had to live vicariously, to see celebrities as themselves or dolled-up versions of themselves.  We could relate — Sandra Bullock winning a Golden Globe is kind of like when I came in third place during that district spelling bee in 5th grade.   Dressed up?  Check.  Trophy presented?  Check.  Accomplishment recognized?  Double check.

But now, I no longer need to wait for an awards show to get an intimate glimpse of a celebrity, and I no longer need to rely on the “expertise” of those selecting the winners.   Social media gives me access to celebrities and experts on my terms, allowing me to call the shots.   Rather than a network programming my awards season for me,  I can do it myself through blogs, twitter feeds, podcasts and videos.    Social media is, to a large extent, the great equalizer.

I watched the Golden Globes specifically because Ricky Gervais was hosting, and I was disappointed.   Mel Gibson joke aside, it was a multimedia dose of ambien.  Lesson learned.  I’m much better off going to Ricky’s blog, where I learn he just did a photo shoot, his mate’s missing dog was found and  his day consisted of “More junkets.  Went for a run.  Drank wine.  Watched telly.”

I can follow celebs on twitter, including my fave awards show host and current crush Neil Patrick Harris (@actuallynph on twitter and yes I know he’s gay but I’m still crushing).  I can even interact directly with celebs, responding to their twitter messages or commenting on their blogs.   Sometimes, a-hem,  Jon Favreau might even retwitter you.

jon favreau twitter 2-2-2010 9-53-47 AM

But mostly, it’s about the ever-growing voice of public opinion.   It’s about what movie or music my Facebook friends favor, rather than the Foreign Press Association.   It’s about what’s trending on my Twitter feed, with my carefully-curated list of people I follow.  It’s about technology giving us an all-access pass, letting us in behind the velvet rope.  I imagine many actors watched the Academy Award nominations much as I did this morning, viewing the live stream on my laptop.  They will follow the media flow in the same way as well, googling and twittering and clicking on multiple devices.

We’re no longer handcuffed to the entertainment experts presented to us through traditional media venues.  Celebrities can listen not just to the professional critic,  but also to the amateur and fan.   I listen to the opinions that matter to me;  I can find, choose and follow those voices.  Through social media we are achieving what art is all about — freedom of expression — and in doing so we are de-valuing the monopolistic voices that drove public opinion for so long.

I’ll still watch the 82nd Academy Awards on March 7th, to see how Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin fare as  co-hosts and to see the dresses and drama.   It will no longer be a Big Event for me, though.  I’ll likely be multi-tasking with the TV on and TweetDeck open.   Like the Golden Globes and the Grammys, the Oscars have lost their luster.   To shine again they need a significant overhaul that takes into account how we consume media today.  That means more than a go-to-the-website -to-vote-for-a-Bon-Jovi-song gimmick.   Seriously, that’s the best you can do?  For an industry that is grounded in story-telling,  imagination, creativity and magic, remaking the awards show should be a worthy opportunity and challenge.

My six-year-old put it all in perspective when I told her about the Oscars.  She said, simply,  “Oh, they just want you to go to the movies so they can make more money.”

Members of the Academy, the future generation of awards-show-watchers are waiting in the wings.   Go ahead.  Make their day.

Posted in Entertainment, technology | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , | 7 Comments »

Party in the USA: Hardcore kids in Miley Cyrus sing-a-long

Posted by andreaitis on January 27, 2010

WASHINGTON - JANUARY 19:  Miley Cyrus performs...

Image by Getty Images via Daylife

There’s a video making the rounds.  It was up on TwitVid, then YouTube, and just found its way to the MTV Iggy Blog.  It’s from a punk rock show in Atlanta, Georgia on January 12th.  You should care about this because:

1. The video was taken by our friend and unofficially official True/Slant photographer, the very ink’d and very happening Matt X. Miller (he took this picture).

2. The video already has over 25k views on the ‘Tube with a bullet.

3. It shows that we can set our differences aside and find common ground, whether you’re a little bit country or a little bit rock-n-roll.

4. It captures a moment in time and sincere, authentic fun.  Remember fun?

From the MTV Iggy Blog:

And yet sometimes, in America, you all sit at the dinner table together. And you understand why he doesn’t want to work. And you like his tattoos. And you think maybe your sister isn’t so shallow, that maybe all she wants is to seek out beauty like we all do, to live in a fluffy, happy world.

In the video below, we see hardcore metalheads in Atlanta — you know, your older brother’s type — in a moment of rare, un-ironic love for their little American sisters.

At a show for hardcore bands Trapper Under Ice, Cruel Hand, Naysayer, and Foundation some smart alec put on Miley Cyrus’ USA hit, “Party in the USA” and what did the boys do? Turn it off? Tear the speakers to pieces? (See that song’s original video here.) Nope, they unabashedly danced, hugged, and sang (nearly) every word. It’s your YouTube of the day. A sneak peek into the weirdness that is America’s Teenage Wasteland:

via Hardcore Kids, Singing Along to Miley Cyrus? That’s America > MTV Iggy Blog > MTV Iggy – Global Pop Culture, Latest Trends and New Music

Here’s the video:

[youtubevid id=”4669ozY4faQ”]

In the YouTube description, Matt said “It was rad to see hardcore kids take themselves a little less serious and loosen up.”   Funny, that’s exactly what he said to us after taking our True/Slant pictures.

Posted in Entertainment, technology, video | Tagged: , , , , , | 1 Comment »

National Enquirer snaps first picture of Tiger Woods in sex rehab, saves mainstream media

Posted by andreaitis on January 20, 2010

Leave it to the National Enquirer to confirm what everyone’s been buzzing about for the last 24 hours.  And leave it to Radaronline.com, owned by American Media which also owns  the National Enquirer, to blast the story with the standard we’ve-got-a-scoop headline: WORLD EXCLUSIVE PHOTOS: First Pictures of Tiger Woods in Sex Rehab.

You can see one of the pictures here.

These are the exclusive first photos of Tiger Woods in rehab for sexual addiction at a clinic in Hattiesburg, Mississippi.

The golfing great has not been seen in public since crashing his car into a tree shortly after Thanksgiving.

As RadarOnline.com reported he checked into the Gentle Path program, part of Pine Grove Behavioral Health and Addiction Services.

The photos of Tiger appear in the new issue of the National Enquirer.

via WORLD EXCLUSIVE PHOTOS: First Pictures Of Tiger Woods In Sex Rehab | RadarOnline.com

This story started building when a couple of local Mississippi TV stations reported that Tiger was at the Pine Groves clinic.   While still unconfirmed, another report came out yesterday in the New York Daily News.

The headline of that story: 
Tiger Woods sex scandal: Golfer being treated for sex addiction at Mississippi rehab, says author
.

I first saw the ‘confirmation’ in the following twitter message by Mahalo CEO and self-marketer extraordinaire Jason Calacanis:

Jason Calacanis on Tiger Woods via Twitter

Jason Calacanis on Tiger Woods' sex rehab via Twitter

He also put it up on Flickr

Jason Calacanis on Tiger Woods' sex rehab via Flickr

Jason Calacanis on Tiger Woods' sex rehab via Flickr

and on his Tumblelog.

Jason Calacanis on Tiger Woods' sex rehab via his Tumblelog

Jason Calacanis on Tiger Woods' sex rehab via his Tumblelog

As I type, Calacanis has 89,911 followers on Twitter.  After he posted, the ‘confirmation’ story took off.    There are four key points to note, however:

1. @jason incorrectly sourced the confirmation as coming from the New York Times.   The confirmation did not, in fact, come from NYT.   It came from Benoit Denizet-Lewis, a recovering sex addict and author who “regularly contributes to the New York Times magazine. ”

2. Benoit Denizet-Lewis had a single, unnamed source.

3.  The  fact that Benoit Denizet-Lewis was affiliated with the New York Times (magazine)  fueled reports of reports of the confirmation.  For an example of this, look at the USA Today headline:  ‘NYT’ writer: Tiger Woods is in sex rehab clinic in Mississippi

4. The fact that @jason inaccurately represented the source also fueled the frenzy as people retweeted and reblogged  without clicking and reading the actual New York Daily News story.

Denizet-Lewis has a book out this month.  He spoke with the Daily News as an author, not as a NYT writer.  In fact, he didn’t even give this hole-in-one scoop to the New York Times.  Why is that, I wonder?  And, as a recovering addict and former patient at Pine Groves, he had no qualms about publicizing Tiger’s location.   No trace of an ethical dilemma, Benoit?  Let’s hope you and Tiger never end up in the same sex addiction support group.

At any rate, this story had a 24-hour lifecycle that started with Benoit’s ‘confirmation’ and ended with him appearing on the Today show this morning.   At that point, it was a 50-50 chance that Tiger was in the Pine Groves sex rehab clinic.  Luckily for Benoit Denizet-Lewis, the National Enquirer got their World Exclusive pictures of Tiger in Mississippi.  As with the Enquirer’s coverage of John Edwards, the picture proves the story.

As for Benoit Denizet-Lewis, he’ll sell some copies of his book.  He’ll go on all the news shows today.

As for us, we continue to learn a valuable lesson: don’t judge a story by its headline, and don’t judge a headline by its tweet.

Posted in Entertainment, sports, technology, twitter | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

And the #biggaybattle winner is…

Posted by andreaitis on January 6, 2010

This #biggaybattle between Neil Patrick Harris and John Barrowman has been nothing short of  legen – wait for it – dary.

It got its own name courtesy of Neil Gaiman, and  a full-fledged meme on Twitter:  #biggaybattle#voteNPH, #votebarrowman

It has celebrities like Jimmy Fallon, Alyssa Milano and Kevin Smith mixing it up with the regular peoples on Twitter.

It has fan art

John Barrowman and Neil Patrick Harris in #BigGayBattle (art by Jean Kang)

John Barrowman and Neil Patrick Harris in #BigGayBattle (art by Jean Kang)

…and sparkly fan art:

John Barrowman and Neil Patrick Harris in sparkly #BigGayBattle (art by Jean Kang and sparkly friend)

John Barrowman and Neil Patrick Harris in Sparkly #BigGayBattle (art by Jean Kang and sparkly friend Alix)

…and a YouTube video:

[youtubevid id=”A5TygZjr3Lc”]

It’s endorsed by the ACLU.  The poll, not a candidate, of course. Because that would be wrong.

ACLU on the #BigGayBattle

ACLU on the #BigGayBattle

It even got a big gay Wall Street Journal story.

And to think it all started with a simple Who is (Gay) Man of the Decade poll on afterelton.com.

So, afterelton, who gets the glittery title and tiara?  Did the USofA take down the Brits?  Did @actuallyNPH out-tweet @team_barrowman?  Did Dr. Horrible crush Doctor Who?

The answer:  YES!  Neil Patrick Harris is officially the Gay Man of the Decade.  I can hear the chanting now.  N-P-H…N-P-H…N-P-H.   Will John Barrowman request a recount?  A sing-off or a duel or a Dancing on Ice throwdown?

We can only hope.   ❤  #biggaybattle 4evah.

Posted in Entertainment, twitter | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments »

Neil Patrick Harris and John Barrowman in #biggaybattle on Twitter

Posted by andreaitis on January 4, 2010

Neil Patrick Harris, 2008

Image via Wikipedia

At midnight Tuesday night someone will be crowned Gay/Bisexual Man of the Decade and if the USofA is to maintain any of its superpowerly machismo, it darn well better be Neil Patrick Harris.

It all started on afterelton.com, a website that is not affiliated with Elton John but is dedicated to “news, reviews and commentary on gay and bisexual men in entertainment and the media.”   They put up a poll asking the question I just know circulated festivus tables across this great land: Who is the gayest or most bisexualist man of the decade?  Neil Patrick Harris took the early lead, but now the British are coming.   Well, actually the Scottish are coming in the form of John Barrowman.  He launched a revolutionary war on Twitter to steal the crown from NPH.  What are his credentials? According to well-placed sources (or, um, Wikipedia) he’s:

British actor John Barrowman saluting on a flo...

Image via Wikipedia

…a Scottish born singer, actor, dancer, musical performer and media personality, best known on British television for his acting and presenting work for the BBC and for his television role of Captain Jack Harkness in the science fiction series Doctor Who and Torchwood.

I know, I know.  You read that and thought — pssht, NPH can take him.   NPH stars in HIMYM!  He hosted the Emmy Awards!!  He’s Dr. Horrible!!!  Here’s the alarming part, though:  Barrowman appeared on the celebrity ice skating show Dancing on Ice.   Dancing. On. Ice.  Sequins, twirling, dramatic flair, blades of glory musical numbers, flounce and ice skates.   Could anything make Neil Patrick Harris hosting the Tony Awards look more like Peyton Manning at the Superbowl?

[youtubevid id=”4ek4BP4tnHo”]

As if that’s not enough, Barrowman has called out the Twitter troops.  The #biggaybattle is heating up, with @actuallyNPH and @team_barrowman throwing down in a twumble (twitter + rumble).

Neil Patrick Harris for Gay Man of the Decade!

Neil Patrick Harris for Gay Man of the Decade!

John Barrowman in blatant attempt to steal NPH's title.

John Barrowman in blatant attempt to steal NPH

The war has escalated, with celebrities on both sides of the pond taking sides to support their candidate.

Enter Jonathan Ross , riding on a white stallion, to aid his friend John Barrowman. Jonathan is, for lack of a better comparison for our U.S. readers, a sort of Jay Leno in the UK, except people don’t seem to hate him. In fact they love him so much, he’s got about 500,000 followers on Twitter. So when he put the story out there that Barrowman was going down to NPH, things took on a life of their own.
via afterelton.com

Not to be out-Britained, Alyssa Milano weighed in on the biggest, gayest twitter battle ever, declaring NPH gay of the century.  In a burst of patriotic spirit, NPH’s Dr. Horrible co-starFelicia Day and Nathan Fillion twittered strong for NPH.   Nate’s strategy is to rock the vote: US vs. UK! Help! While brits sleep, we must surge and tweet!

Let’s show the world we’ve still got it, America.  We need to OWN the Gay Man of the Decade and send Barrowman to Gaytanamo Bay.   Voting is  over at midnight on Tuesday, January 5th.   Vote now, and let’s get that tiara for Neil Patrick Harris and the United States of America.

Neil Patrick Harris for Gay Man of the Decade.  Vote NOW or Dr. Horrible will get you.

Neil Patrick Harris for Gay Man of the Decade. Vote NOW or Dr. Horrible will get you.

UPDATE:
The U-S-Gay movement is mounting, with Twitter support for Neil Patrick Harris from Jimmy FallonAlyson Hannigan,  Hal Sparks and Chris Hardwick.   Still no word from Ashton Kutcher or Larry King.

Posted in Entertainment, technology | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

15 words banned in the US

Posted by andreaitis on December 31, 2009

Not-so-pocket dictionary v. 2.0

Image by autumn_bliss via Flickr

Happy New Year, everyone.  The first 2010 list is out already and it’s a good thing.  According to the Lake Superior State University 2010 List of Banished Words, you have just hours left to use 15 words that will be vaporized when the clock strikes midnight.

Word “czars” at Lake Superior State University “unfriended” 15 words and phrases and declared them “shovel-ready” for inclusion on the university’s 35th annual List of Words Banished from the Queen’s English for Mis-use, Over-use and General Uselessness.

“The list this year is a ‘teachable moment’; conducted free of ‘tweets'” said a Word Banishment spokesman who was ‘chillaxin’ for the holidays.

via Lake Superior State University :: Banished Words List

The annual banned words list got its start at a New Year’s Eve party in 1975, when former LSSU Public Relations Director Bill Rabe and friends came up with the concept of “word banishment.”   What makes them the overlords of word overuse?  First, they thought of it.  And second, when you go to Lake Superior I guess you’re entitled to work your superiority.  ::: snap :::

Every year they get tens of thousands of nominations.   A couple of my unfavorites actually made it on the list this year.

The first one I can barely type, as it’s cringe-inducing every time.   T-W-E-E-T.   I don’t mind the Twitter-combinations as much, but uttering t-w-e-e-t in any form makes me feel like @ev and @biz are having a good laugh at the expense of humankind, as a golden bell rings with each tweet-age.   Here’s the explanation from the experts:

TWEET

And all of its variations…tweetaholic, retweet, twitterhea, twitterature, twittersphere…

“People tweet and retweet and I just heard the word ‘tweet’ so many times it lost all meaning.” – Ricardo, Merida, Yucatan, Mexico.

Mikhail Swift of Hillman, Mich. says the tweeting is “pointless…yet has somehow managed to take the nation by storm. I’m tired of hearing about celebrity X’s new tweet, and how great of a tweeter he or she is.”

“I don’t know a single non-celebrity who actually uses it,” says Alex Thompson of Sault St. Marie, Mich.

Jay Brazier of Williamston, Mich. says she supposes that tweeters might be “twits.”

Twit-wits, indeed.   Which is actually what I think every time I hear the next word:  chillaxin’.  Now, some new words deserve to be created, like snarktastic.  It takes two different concepts and rolls them into one.  Chillaxin’ does none of that.   Chill and Relax mean the same thing, you can use them interchangeably.

Example:

“Chillax is the most ridiculously stupid non-word ever.  EVER.  Argh, I need to chill.”

“Chillax is the most ridiculously stupid non-word ever.  EVER.  Argh, I need to relax.”

See?  No diff.  So what’s the point? The Lake Superiors concur:

CHILLAXIN’

Nominated for several years. We couldn’t chill about it anymore.

“Heard everywhere from MTV to ESPN to CNN. A bothersome term that seeks to combine chillin’ with relaxin’ makes me want to be ‘axin’ this word.” – Tammy, Sault Ste. Marie, Mich.

“A made-up word used by annoying Gen-Yers.” – Chris Jensen, Fond du Lac, Wisc.

“Horrifying overuse, even in face-to-face conversation… It should receive bonus points for its ability to exhort the opposite reaction from the receiver.” – Bret Bledsoe, Cincinnati, Ohio.

Totally agree, Bret Bledsoe.  It’s not even the overuse that bugs me.  It’s the existence and acknowledgement of ‘chillaxin’ as a word.   It is not a real word;  it’s a faux phrase created by someone too lazy to even really try creating a new word.

Here’s  the list of what else you can’t say after the Happy New Year ball drops:

1. Shovel-ready

2. Transparent/Transparency

3. Czar

4. App

5. Sexting

6. Friend as a Verb

7. Teachable Moment

8. In These Economic Times

9. Stimulus

10. Toxic Assets

11. Too Big to Fail

12. Bromance

13. Obama prefix or roots

and, of course

14. Tweet

15. Chillaxin’

You can see the Word Superiority Selection Commitee’s reasoning here.

In an effort to cram them all in one last time before the calendar changes from 2009 to 2010, how many can you use in a sentence?

My shot:

I’m almost done tweeting about how, in these economic times, we need to friend a stimulus czar to regulate transparency of teachable moments that will surely occur during  the Obamafication of a sexting app targeted at too big to fail bromances illustrating how  shovel-ready we are to bury the toxic assets and grab some chillaxin’ time with new episodes of Jersey Shore.

C’mon.  Sentences, haiku, rap lyrics.  Showmewhatchoogot.

Posted in Entertainment, Strange, technology | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments »

Happy Birthday, Tiger Woods: Are you with Rachel Uchitel, in sex addiction rehab or recovering from plastic surgery?

Posted by andreaitis on December 29, 2009

Tiger Woods

Image by Keith Allison via Flickr

Tomorrow Tiger Woods will celebrate his 34th birthday.   Or maybe he won’t celebrate it.   In the month since the  single-car accident that wrecked Tiger’s car and his life, no one has seen the world famous golfer.  That’s a remarkable feat, if you really think about it.  We are a media-saturated society.  We have cameras everywhere:  in our cell phones, our laptops, our DSi consoles, even  good old-fashioned point and shoot cameras in our pockets.  There are professionals who have been tracking Tiger, knowing what kind of pay day the first pictures will bring.  There are amateurs, fans and former fans, who are waiting for him to reappear.  There’s Facebook, Twitter, MySpace and more, all venues where people can and will report celebrity sightings.  Tiger managed to elude them all.  Until now, according to the New York Daily News reporting on an Entertainment Tonight report (yes, this is Tiger Beat journalism).

The scandal-rocked pro golfer has been spotted in Palm Beach, Fla., with none other than alleged mistress No. 1, Rachel Uchitel, sources told Entertainment Tonight.

The reported sighting comes just weeks after Woods announced on Dec. 11 that he was taking a break from professional golf to “focus my attention on being a better husband, father and person.”

Woods and Uchitel were rumored to be holding hands as they mixed with about 300 guests at a party in a private mansion in Palm Beach.

They were also spotted partying together in the ritzy enclave, at the Everglades Club, on Saturday night, Entertainment Tonight reports.

Some sources went even further, telling ET that the rumored paramours were living together aboard Woods’ yacht, Privacy, which is reportedly docked in Palm Beach.

via Tiger Woods and Rachel Uchitel spotted partying together in Palm Beach – report

Well, that sounds pretty convincing.  But then, x17online reported that a source told them exclusively that Tiger is in an upscale rehab facility in Arizona.

The source tells X17online:

    “He has been there for a few days since his handlers forced him to enter the program. They feel that if he blames his cheating on addiction, the public will forgive him.”

Recent reports claim Tiger was spotted in Palm Beach with former (or current?) mistress Rachel Uchitel, but so far no pictures have surfaced nor has anyone gone on the record saying they saw the two together.

Meanwhile, a stint in rehab for Tiger seems like the next logical step. After singer Eric Benet was caught in a much-publicized cheating scandal during his relationship with Halle Berry, he entered rehab for sexual addiction. More recently, Californication star David Duchovny did the same in an effort to redeem his reputation and his marriage with Tea Leoni.

via Tiger Woods in Rehab, says Source

Add to the mix the following “Inside Story on Tiger Woods.”  This account was published a few days ago by Furman Bisher, a former sports columnist for the Atlanta Journal-Constitution.  Bisher, well-known and well-respected,  retired this past October.  He received “a legitimate message… from a trustworthy journalist” and posted it on his personal blog.

Are Tiger and Rachel together in Palm Beach?

In regards to Tiger’s boat being in Palm Beach this week, along with Rachel; that part is true. However, Tiger is not on the boat, and is not in Palm Beach; and Rachel is not on the boat. Her parents live 6 blocks from where the boat is, but that is it. Tiger has not returned to his house at Isleworth since the day of the accident except for the therapy sessions.

Is Tiger in a sex and/or prescription drug rehab facility in Arizona?  Bisher doesn’t address that specifically, but he does report that Tiger did go to Phoenix, Arizona immediately after the car accident – for plastic surgery.   Here’s his version of what happened on November 27th:

At one point Tiger turned away to look at the TV, and as he turned back, Elin hit him on the right side of the face with the head of a 9 – iron. When she struck Tiger, she put a huge gash in the right side of his face next to his nose (causing his nose to bruise some), and virtually knocking two of his upper teeth out, and breaking the bone on the upper right side. Tiger ran scared as hell out of the house (which is why he had on no shoes) with Elin swinging the golf club throughout the hallway to the garage (i.e. causing the severe damage which has been reported).

It’s a fact that Elin accompanied Tiger to the hospital.  After that, Bisher reports, Tiger headed to Arizona.

The doctors tell Mark there is not much they can do to repair the teeth and the gash, but the doctor knows a cosmetic dentist and plastic surgeon in Phoenix who will make Tiger look as if nothing happened. Tiger tells Mark to get the jet ready and let’s head to Phoenix to get this done. Friday after Tiger is released from the hospital, he does not return home; he and Mark board the plane for Phoenix. If you remember FHP kept showing up at Isleworth to talk to Tiger, and was told by another FL attorney (who Tiger hired for PR reasons) Tiger was not ready to talk. Well now we know why, he was in Phoenix, and did not arrive back in Orlando until either late last Wednesday night or early Thursday morning.

It’s worth reading Bisher’s post in its entirety.   But, back to the question at hand:  Will Tiger Woods blow out his birthday candles with Rachel Uchitel in Palm Beach, Florida or in an Arizona rehab facility?

We know Rachel Uchitel is in Palm Beach, Florida because there are a bunch of pictures of her prancing around the beach in her bikini.

Elin Nordegren is reportedly in Sweden with their two children for the holidays (widely reported but not yet confirmed).

And Tiger?  We  know a lot of people are trying to catch Tiger Woods on camera.  We know whoever gets that first picture will score big.   We know his birthday is tomorrow.  Where he’ll celebrate – and with whom –  is anybody’s guess at this point.  Because we also know he has advisers and handlers who have  achieved an incredible feat: they’ve  managed to keep Tiger Woods out of sight for over a month.  In this day and age, that’s the real win.   Happy birthday, Tiger.  You’ve won this match with the media (and the public), at least for now.

Posted in Entertainment, sports, technology | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments »

Ivana Trump files for 4th divorce, screams at children on plane

Posted by andreaitis on December 28, 2009

Oh, Ivana Trump.  If money can’t buy you happiness at least you’re teaching us it can buy you multiple divorces and the ability to scream obscenities at young children on an airplane.  Here’s how Ivana Trump’s holiday heartache breaks down:

Last week, while daughter Ivanka was off on her honeymoon, mother Ivana  filed for divorce yet again.  It’ll be the optimistic  bride’s fourth divorce.   Apparently the 60 year old and her 37 year old husband Italian businessman Rossano Rubicondi  just couldn’t manage to spend time together.  Seriously, the divorce filing cites “a lack of personal time” and Ivana told RadarOnline.com “It has become increasingly difficult for us to find time together.”  Imagine that, when   Ivana and Rubicondi didn’t even live together.

Then, over the weekend she was escorted off a plane in swanky Palm Beach, Florida when she channeled a little Charlie Sheen.

The incident began when Trump, seated in first class, became upset by some children running through the cabin of her Delta flight while they were waiting to depart.

Although a flight attendant offered to change her seat, Ivana became even more irate and began screaming obscenities at crew members and the passengers around her.

Alerted to the predicament, the pilot taxied the plane back to the gate where it was met by law enforcement.  Deputies at first tried to convince Trump to leave the plane voluntarily.  When that didn’t work, they literally picked her up and swept her out the door.

via Ivana Trump Physically Removed From Flight By Cops – radaronline.com

This Ivana Trump story has taught me so much already.  First, upon googling I learned of another great source for news: the Plastic Surgery Channel.  Yep, showed up right near the top of my search results. They even have a plastic surgery breaking news section.  Who knew?!

ivana trump divorce 12-28-2009 9-21-20 AM

Second, it’s a good reminder not to string together expletives in a belligerent and public outburst directed at children.  Much better to do that silently in your own head.

Third, if you’re going to write self-help books like The Best is Yet to Come: Coping with Divorce and Enjoying Life Again, you probably want to demonstrate that attitude when you’re out and about.  So, you know, people believe you actually read the book you wrote.   Otherwise, you’ll never get that book to sell for more than the $3.91 the paperback is listed for on Amazon.

Fourth, and finally: at what point did Ivana Trump morph into Charo?  She was on The View just last month discussing her four husbands and never once mentioned any discord in the current marriage or her upcoming appearance on The Love Boat (hah).

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Ivana, the Plastic Surgery Channel should be proud.  But don’t forget to practice what you preached in The First Wives Club:   “Remember girls, don’t get mad, get everything.”

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Hasselhoff lookalike pitches ass spray

Posted by andreaitis on December 22, 2009

Adam Jay Aspray Geisinger and David Hasselhoff 12-22-2009 2-08-12 PMUp until now I was blissfully ignorant of Adam Jay Geisinger and his made-in-the-USA ass spray.  His video pitch caused a stink on MSNBC and was pulled after a single airing in the middle of the night this past summer.  It was also a huge sensation on YouTube, with well over half a million views.   Still, somehow I missed the David Hasselhoff lookalike and his anti-scent-sation.   My bubble burst this morning when a friend mentioned ass spray over breakfast (ew).  Turns out, she worked for Ignite Media, the company that markets Aspray.  For those sticklers out there, the correct pronunciation is actually A-Spray but let’s not kid ourselves: that’s just a semi-polite way to camouflage the ass the spray is intended for.

Ignite Media is familiar with the infomercial phenomenon.  They market the Snuggie,  Designer Snuggie,  Snuggie for Kids and  Snuggie for Dogs.   And, lest we forget, T/S’er Leor Galil recently posted about the — wait for it — Weezer Snuggie.  All this to say they know the smell of success when it wafts over them.

The story behind ass spray is very much a common man living out his American Dream.   For Adam Jay Geisinger,  a roofing contractor from Long Island, NY, the dream started with stench.

It came to pass that Adam had an idea for a personal grooming product (on the way to the gym, natch), and because this is America, where anybody can do anything, Adam begot something so completely and wonderfully absurd that he took to the airwaves to advertise it himself.

And so there came to be Doc Bottoms Aspray, billing itself as the first “All Over” deodorant.

The resulting two-minute infomercial, featuring wildly enthusiastic Adam Jay Geisinger as pitchman, is so cheerfully mortifying, such a big fat spritz over the line of good taste, that it reaches its own level of art. Or something.

via Adam Jay Geisinger’s Doc Bottoms Aspray Is So Shocking, MSNBC Pulled the Ad – washingtonpost.com

Doc Bottoms.  Get it?  Here’s the whole video pitch:

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It’s as if Adam is simultaneously channeling Mad Men’s Don Draper and Married with Children’s Al Bundy, with a little Hasselhoff thrown in.   Who else could deliver lines like “Pungent pits?  Beastly butt odor?  How do you stop the stink?” and still somehow maintain an air of respectability?   Take a look at the official ass spray site and you’ll see a great example of marketing to the masses: “Our TV ads may be funny, but embarrassing body odors are not!”  Hard to argue with that.   They even offer a free portable pocket shot of ass spray.   Stocking stuffer, anyone?

Btw, it says it’s safe for all odor zones .  Not sure if that includes Kashmir’s ass lobster

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True/Slant is encouraging readers to donate at DonorsChoose.org this holiday season. Read more about it here if you’d like to help a classroom  in need.

Posted in Business, technology | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , | 7 Comments »