de.tech.ting

Oh, Ivana Trump.  If money can’t buy you happiness at least you’re teaching us it can buy you multiple divorces and the ability to scream obscenities at young children on an airplane.  Here’s how Ivana Trump’s holiday heartache breaks down:

Last week, while daughter Ivanka was off on her honeymoon, mother Ivana  filed for divorce yet again.  It’ll be the optimistic  bride’s fourth divorce.   Apparently the 60 year old and her 37 year old husband Italian businessman Rossano Rubicondi  just couldn’t manage to spend time together.  Seriously, the divorce filing cites “a lack of personal time” and Ivana told RadarOnline.com “It has become increasingly difficult for us to find time together.”  Imagine that, when   Ivana and Rubicondi didn’t even live together.

Then, over the weekend she was escorted off a plane in swanky Palm Beach, Florida when she channeled a little Charlie Sheen.

The incident began when Trump, seated in first class, became upset by some children running through the cabin of her Delta flight while they were waiting to depart.

Although a flight attendant offered to change her seat, Ivana became even more irate and began screaming obscenities at crew members and the passengers around her.

Alerted to the predicament, the pilot taxied the plane back to the gate where it was met by law enforcement.  Deputies at first tried to convince Trump to leave the plane voluntarily.  When that didn’t work, they literally picked her up and swept her out the door.

via Ivana Trump Physically Removed From Flight By Cops – radaronline.com

This Ivana Trump story has taught me so much already.  First, upon googling I learned of another great source for news: the Plastic Surgery Channel.  Yep, showed up right near the top of my search results. They even have a plastic surgery breaking news section.  Who knew?!

Second, it’s a good reminder not to string together expletives in a belligerent and public outburst directed at children.  Much better to do that silently in your own head.

Third, if you’re going to write self-help books like The Best is Yet to Come: Coping with Divorce and Enjoying Life Again, you probably want to demonstrate that attitude when you’re out and about.  So, you know, people believe you actually read the book you wrote.   Otherwise, you’ll never get that book to sell for more than the $3.91 the paperback is listed for on Amazon.

Fourth, and finally: at what point did Ivana Trump morph into Charo?  She was on The View just last month discussing her four husbands and never once mentioned any discord in the current marriage or her upcoming appearance on The Love Boat (hah).

[youtubevid id=”Iif1CTMGUEc”]

Ivana, the Plastic Surgery Channel should be proud.  But don’t forget to practice what you preached in The First Wives Club:   “Remember girls, don’t get mad, get everything.”