Up until now I was blissfully ignorant of Adam Jay Geisinger and his made-in-the-USA ass spray.  His video pitch caused a stink on MSNBC and was pulled after a single airing in the middle of the night this past summer.  It was also a huge sensation on YouTube, with well over half a million views.   Still, somehow I missed the David Hasselhoff lookalike and his anti-scent-sation.   My bubble burst this morning when a friend mentioned ass spray over breakfast (ew).  Turns out, she worked for Ignite Media, the company that markets Aspray.  For those sticklers out there, the correct pronunciation is actually A-Spray but let’s not kid ourselves: that’s just a semi-polite way to camouflage the ass the spray is intended for.

Ignite Media is familiar with the infomercial phenomenon.  They market the Snuggie,  Designer Snuggie,  Snuggie for Kids and  Snuggie for Dogs.   And, lest we forget, T/S’er Leor Galil recently posted about the — wait for it — Weezer Snuggie.  All this to say they know the smell of success when it wafts over them.

The story behind ass spray is very much a common man living out his American Dream.   For Adam Jay Geisinger,  a roofing contractor from Long Island, NY, the dream started with stench.

It came to pass that Adam had an idea for a personal grooming product (on the way to the gym, natch), and because this is America, where anybody can do anything, Adam begot something so completely and wonderfully absurd that he took to the airwaves to advertise it himself.

And so there came to be Doc Bottoms Aspray, billing itself as the first “All Over” deodorant.

The resulting two-minute infomercial, featuring wildly enthusiastic Adam Jay Geisinger as pitchman, is so cheerfully mortifying, such a big fat spritz over the line of good taste, that it reaches its own level of art. Or something.

via Adam Jay Geisinger’s Doc Bottoms Aspray Is So Shocking, MSNBC Pulled the Ad – washingtonpost.com

Doc Bottoms.  Get it?  Here’s the whole video pitch:

[youtubevid id=”Lmy9R_WtPbg”]

It’s as if Adam is simultaneously channeling Mad Men’s Don Draper and Married with Children’s Al Bundy, with a little Hasselhoff thrown in.   Who else could deliver lines like “Pungent pits?  Beastly butt odor?  How do you stop the stink?” and still somehow maintain an air of respectability?   Take a look at the official ass spray site and you’ll see a great example of marketing to the masses: “Our TV ads may be funny, but embarrassing body odors are not!”  Hard to argue with that.   They even offer a free portable pocket shot of ass spray.   Stocking stuffer, anyone?

Btw, it says it’s safe for all odor zones .  Not sure if that includes Kashmir’s ass lobster…

* * * * * * * * * * *
True/Slant is encouraging readers to donate at DonorsChoose.org this holiday season. Read more about it here if you’d like to help a classroom  in need.