de.tech.ting

spaghettiquette

Posted by andreaitis on August 28, 2008

spaghetti. fork'd up.

spaghetti. fork'd up.

i was at a business lunch the other day.  me, 2 co-workers and 1 guy we were interviewing for a job.  i ordered pasta — i think that’s still a cardinal sin these days (er, a carbinal sin) but tough.  i like pasta.

so, there i am eating my spaghetti with tomato and basil when suddenly, it happened.  one of those situations you don’t dream of, can’t plan for … but i’m getting ahead of myself.  let me set this up properly.

i’m in my still-summer wardrobe: swingy skirt and black top with capped sleeves and a scoop neck.   i’m in business casual mode, which means i’m chattering away about industry stuff but trying to avoid certain subjects like, say, digital advancements in the porn industry.   i usually wait to talk about that until after someone’s hired.   um, that’s a joke.  sort of.

anyway, i’m delicately twirling spaghetti.  i lean in, mouth slightly open and as i move the fork a single short strand of spaghetti dangles, then freefalls right into my scoop neck.  it’s as if that one piece of pasta was hanging onto the fork tine, and just decided to let go in a freedom drop.  now, i’m still holding the fork but i don’t move.  at all. except for my eyes.  because i want to know if anyone else saw that.  i mean, i can feel the little piece of spaghetti nuzzling in there, but did anyone see what just happened??  it seems not.  and therein lies the dilemma.  there is no easy way to remove spaghetti from just inside a scoop neck without drawing attention to the scoopage situation.  and it’s not particularly where you’d want eyes on you, especially at a meant-to-impress business lunch.   WWMMD, i thought to myself … what would miss manners do …

i had no clue.  none.  so i finished eating, being very careful to not move my upper body.  through lunch.  walking back to the office.  up the elevator.  you’ve never seen posture this good.   i was worried the spaghetti would slip out through the bottom of my shirt so i held my breath a lot, too.   but it was comfortably nestled in there, apparently, because it didn’t move either.

i finally retrieved it in the ladies room.   pasta la vista, baby.

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